email-integration-2About a year ago I wrote about stuff I get in my email box. Then it was useless information about growing hair on my head with this or that product, hot women from Russia who want to meet me, somebody who is stuck at the airport and needs money, Nigerian princes who need to unload some money and will pay me to hold on to it if I just send them some “good faith money” (which never made any sense to me, especially if they had a ton of money to begin with) and, of course, some emails about building wealth. I’m not sure where these companies (and most of them are overseas) got my email but I have read of breaches in security at some websites and even Facebook by individuals that mine or harvest email addresses and then sell the lists to various email clearing houses.(Does the NSA sell these things to companies?) This year, the amount of emails, mostly filtered through my junk mail has topped north of 500 a day. That’s a lot of junk. I know I can install more robust email filters but I am afraid that I will lose legitimate emails from friends because I don’t have the time to scroll through the junk one by one. I also know that some of the junk are one-offs and they sell the address to the next company and so it goes. I am careful when I visit a legitimate website to unclick the “third party” box when I sign up for a newsletter, but I am leery of signing up for anything anymore. By now, it’s probably too late and the only option left to me is to change my email address I have had for years and start again. But that is a pain.

So here is a partial list of the most recent junk I have been receiving, some of them two or three times a week.

End of the World Emails:

The real reason WHY Homeland Security recently purchased
1.7 Billion Rounds of ammunition…”
“Martial law has gotten dangerously close.

Right now, we’re literally one step from having feds knock down our doors.

Almost all the steps leading to martial law are now completed… all it takes is one more
spark to ignite the disaster.

And the match has just been lit.

That’s enough to get one’s attention. Hint at loss of safety and imminent danger and you have a winner. Sounds like conspiracy theorists in action doesn’t it? Well it is a scam to get people to buy dried foods in bulk so that they can survive whatever the impending apocalypse there might be (maybe there are zombies involved, who knows). These emails usually come in twos from different IP numbers and I guess they are effective enough for the individual company to keep in business. I imagine they play to Fox News viewers who are fed the “encroaching” government take over day after day on that “news” channel. Throw in the magic word “nazi” and you have a sale!

Health and Health “Services”

Cure Your Problems In The Bedroom This only takes 1 day My
wife almost left me until I did this – it works Choose how big you want to
be Choose one 5″ 6″ 7″ 8″ 9″ 10″ […]

This sounds too good to be true and a very intimated guy-American thing (bigger is better I suppose). I guess the “choosing” part would depend on the “original” part. I wonder if 12″ is still a foot or just grotesque.

NO MORE GRAY HAIR Stop Gray. Look younger with natural hair

I suppose this would work if I had hair on my head. Now my natural color is bald.

Document: Drop Body Fat to 4% in 3 weeks Pacifica
This little known weigh-lifting trick drops tons of pounds off your frame

This came with the subject heading of: “There are deathly dangers to drinking water”

I didn’t open the attachment but I was wondering what deathly dangers of drinking water and loosing body fat had in common. And, I am wondering about he “tons” off my frame. Yes I am a bit overweight but…tons???

Content preview: AP News-wire Breaking Alert Salads Killing Americans Report
Straight from CDC Erase salads from your daily eating to avoid death […]

Ok, Caesar died for salad and still had one named after him. How ironic!

(part of a message)

Doctors raving, controversial Skinny Pills cases and veal, the
when with popular always pan This be added. till under so pan hollow very
the a and out or under one-half can the meat- Did it you flour, few then match
sugar, as peas thimbleful are a a choose the a When the and gherkins.

Somewhere the “skinny pills” disappeared and some broken and confusing English recipe for cooking veal took it’s place.  (I wonder if this was originally written in non-English then translated by Bing.)

For the hobby/DIY person in me…

About Home Presents our #1 Hobby Voted by viewers Woodworking
for the beginner Over 16,000 Step-By-Step plans for you You will be surprised
to see how enjoyable woodworking is if you never tried it before.

I get at least one of these a day…and I don’t even like woodworking. The 16,000 step-by-step turned me off as well. I have trouble with the 30 or so steps IKEA provides for putting together a rocking chair how could I handle 16,000 steps…

Plus I get emails about getting new windows. I live in an cave.

Criminal checks

We are reaching out right now to inform you that your background may have
recently been searched through our-site. To protect your-privacy please see below…

Again, at least 3 of these a week arrive in my mailbox. There are a whole lot of people out there who are giving me a background check, or so it seems. I used to think I had no life, maybe these folks are worse off than me. To these people I would suggest coloring would be more fun.

Even as I am writing this, I can see that my email box is still filling up again. Have you tried to remove your name from an email list? I do it when I have time. Sometimes the page will say, “it may take 8-10 days before your email is deleted.” I say, why so long? No response. I am getting the feeling that the “unsubscribe” at the bottom of an email is for verification that my email is active and then prompts the company to continue to send emails in spite of the fact that I have asked to be removed. I’m not paranoid, just concerned.

I like reading emails from friends, or Comedy Central updates or what new program is playing at the Roxie theatre this week. What I don’t like is unsolicited (at least I think they are unsolicited) emails for things I would never use or buy. Maybe I’m just getting old, but I don’t like to be bothered with having to delete so many emails every day. It takes up time, which at my age is getting shorter by the minute. So to you, dear reader,send me an email and say “hi” but please don’t try to sell me penis extenders or end-of-world dried tapioca. Just say “hi.”

and so it goes…