In a press conference this morning,the president of Fox News Channel and chairman of the Fox Television Stations Group, Roger Ailes announced that Keith Olbermann has joined, what he calls, the Fox stable. The surprise announcement came after rumors that the FCC is pulling the license at “Current TV” for being, in their words, “…too hard to find.” Olbermann was to produce and star in a highly anticipated news-oriented show on Current TV. It is expected that Olbermann’s new show on Fox will contain his patented “rants,” supposedly aimed at whomever and whatever his new boss determines to be a threat to corporations. As part of the package it has also been determined that Olbermann’s rants will not contain words with more than two syllables in deference to Fox’s base audience who do not have easy access to dictionaries.
In explaining his move, Alies said it was time that Fox stopped sucking up to both the Tea Party and Republican Party and try something new including becoming “fair and balanced” a slogan actually thought up by Olbermann while he worked for Fox earlier in his career. It’s not clear how “balanced” the quasi-news channel will become with the addition of the former-MSNBC. titan Alies also made clear that the transition would be slow but believed everyone “would be on board” in a short time. It was reported that Sean Hannity lost another inch of his forehead when he heard the news and Bill O’Reilly was upset because “now he [Olbermann] will certainly want to use my dwindling supply of luffas.”
In other related Fox changes, Glenn Beck is expected to leave Fox at the end of the year to make room for Olbermann and will have his own show on Animal Planet. As of yet, the details of his show are sketchy. There has been some talk that he will host “When Animals Conspire” a show that will originate from the Serengeti where chalk is in abundance and animals quietly plot against humans almost daily. His sponsor will, of course be “gold.”
and so goes… April Fools Day