Unite!

Before we get to the fun part of a list of Beck’s conspiracies we need to look at Wisconsin. Yes there are evil socialist non-violent protests in Wisconsin and soon in Ohio and every other state that uses unions as scape goats for pinched budgets. Progressives are beginning to find their voice after two years of sitting back and watching the Tea Party parade. This is good, finally. It took the Egyptians 30 years to find their voice so we are ahead of the game. Unfortunately meanwhile back in Washington, the House has not heard the voices of reason after they cut all federal funding to Planned Parenthood using the abortion issue as a reason why. Remember when they said they were going to help create jobs? I don’t know were that went either. All of a sudden comes this highly symbolic cutting of women’s health access. We all know that federal monies for abortions were cut off back in 1976 with the Hyde Amendment. So what’s the point of cutting off pre-natal care, pap smears, contraception and breast exams? It’s all show and no soul. I don’t agree with everything Planned Parenthood does, but I can agree that they perform a vital service for women with totally non controversial procedures. So what’s up? Planned Parenthood is a great scapegoat. Planned Parenthood is probably viewed as an evil socialist organization…like every other organization that reaches out to the poor. I guess we can look forward to more of the same from Republicans for the next two years. Thank God there is an expiration date.

Speaking of Planned Parenthood and secrets, below are a number of conspiracies dreamed up by Beck for your edification this wet rainy Friday afternoon on the West Coast. Without using his blackboard so he can make a gazillion connections, let me say this, electricians (union of course) say if you have too many connections eventually you will have a short circuit…I rest my case. Your witness. So on to some of Beck’s conspiracy theories from our friends at Political humor:

  • Soy milk-sipping Green Peace activists are conspiring with the liberal media to feed Tea Partiers to the lions on pay-per-view TV
  • The Obama administration and the illuminati are pushing their extremist socialist agenda dow your throat so they can strip us of our God-given right to hate our fellow man
  • Buckle up your seat belt, America, and prepare for a crash landing because the liberal piloting your plane are plotting with underwear bombers to create a national security crisis, which they will use as a smokescreen to seize dictatorial power.
  • Militant academic elitists are trying to create a public panic about global warming so they can operate concentration camps right here on American soil
  • All you need to do is connect the dots to understand that ACORN and Obama’s Czars are forging a secret plot to take over America once they hold drugged-out sex orgies during confirmation proceedings for Supreme Court justices
  • Leftist sodomites are perpetrating an elaborate hoax to raise taxes to pay for illegal immigrants to get abortions. And we must put together our own militia to stop them.
  • The leftist Al Qaeda conspirators who control Congress are conspiring to bring all FOX News hosts before a death panel. And if we don’t stop them now, it could happen to you.
  • Barack Obama and his Marxist minions won’t tell you about their real agenda, which is to force you out of your home and make you live on a hippie commune.

And finally for tonite…

  • Harry Reid and his henchmen are hatching schemes to douse you with gasoline and set you on fire, just like the Communists tried to do to our Founding Fathers at Iwo Jima

and sooooo it goes until Monday….